I AM

A person can be described in many ways. He is a creation of God, a servant. But he is also the lord and stewardess of everything else on earth. He is a solitary being who is born alone and will die alone, yet he cannot live alone. A person is a complex creature and could hardly be classified even by the best scientist or greatest philosophers.
The way I see it, one can be a person on account of two things – humanity and individuality. These two must work hand in hand to produce a person. Otherwise, one would only be a human or an individual.
To be human, we need to be alive. To live, we must maximize the use of what senses we have. We must savor our lives, to see, to hear, to feel, to taste and to feel everything around us. Therefore, to live my life to the fullest, I must experience what I can, I must make choices and decide what paths I must take, what actions I must do, bearing in mind my limits and responsibilities. I must learn.

I SEE.
I grew up in a world that may not be sheltered, but is, in a way, apart from everyone else’s. I was not aware of how other people lived their lives, or how it was on the other side. When I entered Quezon City Science High School, I was exposed to many different kinds of people. Some who were rich and some who were poor, some people who were smart and some who were just real good in studying, some who took responsibility for their actions, some who’d rather blame it on others.
Before I entered high school, I thought of it as a fairy tale. A place where I would learn, live and love. Yes, I did get to do all this, but high school is more than just that. High school is a journey, a plane ride on an unchartered course, with the windows all open. You can feel the harsh wind rushing past, tearing through you and blowing you away, crushing the breath out of you, until you’re nearly limp and lifeless. But still you must hang on, and grab on whatever you can, because you must be there when the plane lands, wherever it lands, before you can move on into a life you know will be worth living.

I HEAR.
My tenure as a staff member of our school newspaper did more than just give me an addditional headache, which is the pressure of meeting deadlines. It also opened my eyes to a brand new horizon, and my ears to the voices of my fellow students. I knew things I never thought I’d know – things other members of our student body would still be ignorant of were it not for the journalism staff.
I heard myself express an opinion. In writing, I heard my voice immortalized in paper, where other people could hear what I had to say and I know that someday, future generations of Scientians would be reading it as well, in their own back copies or in passing, moving on to a much more worthwhile editorial. Maybe something with greater social relevance, or something of more depth. But my voice will forever be on those pages, and I have left a legacy of my own.

I SMELL.
My stint as a COCC (Cadet Officers Candidate Course) cadet taught me camaraderie, discipline and humility. This was the first time I had made friends on my own, and felt the bond of people who suffered together, who shared the same pains and woes, at least on a physical level. I have learned to hurriedly change my clothes, pin on my nameplate, wear a hairnet and make sure everything is in order before rushing to the training area with my “buddies”.
I have smelled the pungent odor of sweat, of my own and of others. As well as the smell of the ground after it has rained, or that of the earth on a hot, dry day. I have smelled defeat, when I go home feeling dejected, feeling that I’m not as “snappy” as I aspire to be. But I have also smelled victory, graduating from something I had worked so hard for, something that I have dreamed of becoming ever since I was in the lower ranks of elementary education. Finally, I am a CAT Cadet Officer.

I TOUCH.
Perhaps the greatest thing I learned in high school is that young as I am, no matter how insignificant I may be against well known students, popular artists or notorious politicians, I can still touch lives. I can still be an important part of other people’s most treasured experiences, and I can still influence their thoughts and emotions.
I learned that though I am nothing, I am worth something. I know that in my own way I have changed others, for better or for worse, and that somehow I had helped mold them into what they are now. I can see it. In my friends, in the people I have grown to love and will love, even as we grow older, because they too had a significance in my life. They too have changed me, molded me into what I am now.

I TASTE.
Each year in high school I go through a new experience that helps me understand what certain emotions really mean. I learn that they’re not just words. In fact, words alone cannot be able to describe how it is to taste fear, pride, awe, guilt, hate and love.
I have a seen a close friend battle with his nemesis, though in the end, his battle was with himself. I have felt how it is to have people look up to you, to adore you after you have done something worth their attention, yet I have also felt how it is to be ignored, to be invisible. I found out how to hurt another person, with the things I say and do, and how to seek retribution for my sins, to repent and wish I had not done what I did. I have learned how to pray, not with the memorized lines I have learned as a child, but with words straight from my soul. I have learned to thank God, to praise Him, and in my most desperate moments, to ask for help.

I have learned how it is to hate someone so deeply, that hate turns to passion, to perseverance to become someone so much better than what she thinks she is. I am also lucky enough to have learned love. From my classmates, from my friends, from my COCC “buddies” and from people whose love exceeds that of just a friend. The love of people I have treated as brothers and sisters, and people whose love exceeds even that, as if they were an indispensable part of my being - these people who left their marks in my heart.
The most important thing I have learned in high school must be to treasure those simple moments I spend with those whom I care for so much. That the world bites, but it doesn’t matter, because I have my friends, family, my guardian angel and God on my side.
Now you ask, how then could I say that I also have individuality?
I recognize my humanity and I value it. I appreciate the things around me and that fact that I could cherish and interact with them. I am special and I am one and alone. No one else could be me or be like me. I am special. Not many people know this about themselves, which makes me unique.

I am human. I am an individual. I am BOTH human and individual. I have defined myself: I AM.