some things happened this week.. some things that inspired me to write these whatever stuff.. thought i'd share it to the world.. just in case you're wondering, some of these are directed to friends of mine, though they may not know it.. that's the reason why this blog's been made anyway, to chronicle my life and the lives of those who matter to me.. yes, i admit this blog has in fact been stagnating for so long, but i'm back, and so are my words.

change - the rally against rallies
i never thought of myself as a leader, but i do know that i can make a difference. maybe it won't change a lot of lives, maybe at most a few. but i know i can help. if my means are different than everyone else's, well, i don't care. at least i tried to change the world my own way, than just jumped into the bandwagon of old ideas and methods that have proven their misworth time and again, and have just made things worse than before. i do not dream of a perfect world, but something a bit better than what we have now is very much needed. just a little more fairness, just a hint of justice, just a bit of open-mindedness and a tiny pinch of love. who knows? maybe someday, someone far more superior than me, smarter, wiser, who has the makings of a leader, would make use of the little things i've done to make the world a better place. then i would've succeeded far more than those who went in great numbers and just proved detrimental to society. then i'd have proven that i was right, then i would have made a difference.

depression part 1
hindi ko alam, hindi ko maintindihan. bakit ba ako nagagalit? bakit ba napakasama ng loob ko? ang pagpatak ng luha ko'y walang maiturong dahilan! ano ba ang problema? hindi ko alam, hindi ko alam! Diyos ko, nalilito na ako! para akong paru-parong lumilipad sa gabing walang buwan, walang kulisap, at natutulog na ang lahat ng mga mamamayan. ano ba itong sakit na dinaranas? o sana'y bigyang lunas ang aking sakit, bigyan ako ng kasagutan! tulong, tulong... nais ko nang makaalpas mula sa pagkakasadlak sa piitan ng lihim! dali! aking hininga'y naghihikahos, habang apoy ng pag-asa'y unti-untinh nauupos... pagod na pagod na ako't hindi na makagalaw, dahan-dahan nang namamatay...

my lost causes
what is it that lurks in the depths of your hearts? for years i have known you and stayed by your side. if you can't see me, maybe i was just busy with my own life, but i've always come back for you, haven't i? or were you too distracted to notice? i've always been waiting for you to turn to me, to let me in, to let me help. if there were times i seemed tired of it, maybe it's because you don't notice my efforts. but i am here, and still am. i hope you know. why did you have to do this to yourself? i don't know what to do with you people anymore...

grace
how do you comfort someone who's lost a child, not once, but twice?
amidst the warmth of the sun and the chill of the wind, someone shivers in the corner, trying to cry out all the pain, mumbling words of comfort to herself, but never listening..
'tis a dark, gloomy day in the hearts of this land, how can i of such insignificance bring light to those who suffer? i am nothing, and their ache is great..
i don't know what to do..